Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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