In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
