theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
