I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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