i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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