i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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