oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
