dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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