You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
