a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
