ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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