I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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