I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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