Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nicole vs. Life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
