did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
