was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
