You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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