i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
