I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
