i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
