My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
