turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
