It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
