i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
