a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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