Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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