It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
