So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
