Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
