Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
