We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
