I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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