when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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