i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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