just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
