I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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