So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
