im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
