I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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