He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
