dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
