He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
