How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
