i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
