And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
