i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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