I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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