scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
