And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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