so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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